1. Lust
(I think I love you. Who are you anyway?)
Here it is, the big 'wow', the big 'gee', the big 'yesyesyes' you've been waiting for... This is where you find something or someone and believe they are better, greater, cuter, wiser and more wonderful than anything you've ever known. Lust isn't a sin, it's a necessity, for with lust as our guide we imagine our bodies moving the way our bodies were meant to move. And you think: "I have no need of food, I have no need of sleep, I have no needs other than occasionally chewing a breath mint. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me, probably beacuse you haven't happened to me yet. Now I can pass into the next act," so poetically called:
2. Euphoria
(or: oh yippee, you're mine)
You feel funny inside, you feel funny outside. You feel you could do anything and no one would dare laugh at you. This love, you will treasure, you will not put in the basement next to your rowing machine, treadmill, and thermal body sweat wrap. And you will not take this love for granted, because that is the biggest sin of all. And you say: "I feel so good, I feel so strong, I feel actually attractive and I could learn to live with that feeling. Oh. Let us sing and dance and eat brown mushy foods low in fat! Oh joy! Oh rapture! Oh but what if I'm no good at this? Oh.. I am no good at this. I am becoming very, very afraid. That must be because I'm passing into the third act" called:
3. Fear
(also known as: uh-oh!)
This is where the doubt begins, where the mind comes back from shopping, yells at the heart, binds and gags it to a nice lounge chair and allows guilt, failure, and remembrances of things past to sit in for a nice game of bridge. This is where you fear what you need most. If it's a person you love, you fear appearing foolish in front of them. And you begin to think: "Oh no. What if I'm wrong? What if this stinks? What if my heart has blinders on, it's had blinders on before. In fact it had dark heavy patches taped all over it. How can anyone love me if I don't love myself? I mean, I love myself, there are just parts between the top of my head and the bottom of my feet that could use some improvement.. I'm not demeaning myself, I have relatives who do that".
4. Disgust
(and the strange desire to eat every thing in sight, hide in you room..)
Now comes what unavoidable time when you say to anyone who will listen: What the heck am I doing here anyway? If it's a person you love, first you hate only their inadequacies, then you start hating their good points as well. "I can't believe I ever said I felt this way, I must have been dreaming! Wait, this is no dream. This is a film noir movie, and one of those really dark ones too. I mean, this is love? This is what they tell you about when you're 11 and naive? Or 32 and more naive?"
5. The truth
(love is hardwork, and sometimes hard work can really hurt)
Love is a game. If they didn't tell you before, I will tell you now. Love is a game, and if you play you either win, lose or get ejected before the game is over. There are no ties. Maybe you'll lose and learn some great meaningful answers from it all (like if it looks too good to be true, it is). It's easy to love something when you don't have to work at it. It's harder when it asks something of you, you just might be afraid to give. Give it anyway. The heart is the most resilient muscle. It is also the stupidiest. So if this love you've found is good to you, hold it, keep it, shout about it. If it isn't, then maybe you should just become very good friends.
6. The finale
(also known as the big whopper-doodle, or the most important part of this whole darn thing)
So this is love, as demanding, and nourishing, and difficult as it can be, and as strong and wise as it makes you become. There is something to be gained from commitment. There are rewards for staying when you would rather leave. And there is something to be said for running up that hill when you would rather slide down it. And so you let love come perch upon your shoulder, and you don't turn it away. You do the tango. Just do it.
